This series is inspired by my experiences dating as a (mostly) straight, cis-woman in her late twenties in the San Francisco Bay Area.
My relationship with J roughly spanned twelve months from 2018 through 2019. It was rife, to say the least. I’ve circled through phases of anger, depression, and self-loathing in the period since we’ve ended things. My ex was a troubled individual who had a lot of personal issues to sort through. I've had months to accept that I was not responsible for a history of abuse, identity issues, and the like.
Rape. is something that happened to me, that I should not have to be ashamed of. Rape. is what someone did to me that I refer to in polite conversation as “assault” or “something shitty”. Rape. is the only thing I could call this post to remind myself of its realness, and not something I imagined or exaggerated in the deep, dark pits of my own mind in the aftermath.
I decided pretty early on into #30for30 that I'd want to do some analysis if I could get the results. It seemed natural: I spent a lot of my professional career in data and analysis. My first profile asked for guys' favorite shortcut in excel. And, as the twenty three year old I recently hooked up with (#daddygang) wryly observed, I am a "huge fucking nerd."